Designs! Titles! Plots! OH MY!

I have all three titles - fixed - finally! Ohhhh! And I have a well-mapped plot! It works! I have the themes and the philosophy and all that fuzzy junk all clean and clear and crisply written in my moleskine, writer's cafe, and freemind! It's all right there! wewt!

I even have the covers (in rc2 format):

Wewt! I have Designs! and Titles! and Plots! OH MY!

Entropy now has a 'rearranged' room since the 6am waking cleanup crew day, and it seems to be keeping down the destruction. Next week, she's going to be desexed... she's just SO aggressive right now! She's also accumulated a few more nicknames: "Doidoi the Destructor," as well as a full set of anisotropic names: "FooFoo" when she's facing you, "DoiDoi" when her butt is facing you, and "FooDoi" when you can see her face and part of her butt (at an angle) and last, but her most used, "DoiFoo" if her butt is facing you but you can still see an eyeball (at an angle.) (These are from the VERY FERTILE mind of CBU, since I'm nowhere NEAR that cute.)

P.S. CBU says that that the names for 'directly above' and 'directly below' are inconsequential, since, being in either position relative to her means you're about to die (you know, pounce up and rip out your throat, or coming down on top of your head and ripping out your eyeballs...)

Shuffle that plot!

Today, I was awakened to the sound of CBU telling me about the explosion of destruction that Entropy has caused. At 7am. After just falling asleep at 5am. Knowing I had a meeting at 11am.

Entropy had decided to 1. SHRED the paint off of a nice swath of base board. 2. EAT the rubber door stop. 3. DUMP OVER her litter box. 4. PEE all over the floor/food. 5. DIG in the tile grout. and 6. DESTROY anything else within reach.

The words, "SQUALOR HELL HOLE" came to mind this morning.

It most likely WASN'T the food that caused her recent bout of blockage - it was probably the MOFO LATEX PAINT she decided was super tasty.

It took over an HOUR to clean her hurricane demonstration of the title, 'BATTLE BUNNY OF DARKNESS, THE BRINGER OF THE APOCALYPSE' off the floors, walls, boxes, etc. until her area was habitable. (Of course, I then promptly passed out at around 8:00am-ish while CBU went down to the hardware store to get paint, grout, stuff.)

OOOH! But the CBU brought home gifts - INDEX CARDS! I had been needing some index cards for my book(s) for a while. I had some events and I wrote those down pretty fast and then, I was empty. No more plot ideas. No more event ideas. UGH!

My friend Alex and I were talking about books and I started telling him that I needed 'events' and we started discussing morbidly funny types of events.

[01:55:18 AM] Alex2: I really don't want to become metallic hydrogen, thought Aaron as he zipped his insulating suit up. The methane-gathering mission was normally not very dangerous, but during the fuel strike, he had seen people hit by pellets of fuel, fired from the orbiting refueling points. The irony of being hit and killed by a giant pellet of methane derivatives as he gathered its gassy precursor from the atmosphere made him grin, a rictus, against the cramping fear it had sown in his guts.

That's just classic.

While we were discussing these kinds of things, I started describing some actions of one of my main characters. I listed a series of themes that a particular character goes through to explain why I was looking for events and all that jazz. As I was writing it out, I thought, hey...

Why don't I write each of these themes out onto an index card, SHUFFLE THEM, and then put the cards out in order to see what it looks like? (I've only got seven major themes, so, it's not like 52 card pick up...)

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD, IT WAS AWESOME.

I shuffled the deck, played down each card and looked at the 'progression' of themes... and they spoke to me. The themes play out just right for each character now. It's exactly where I wanted to take them, and now I can see the correlation of events! YIPPEEEEEEEE!

I HAVE PLOT!

More of the same

What do you read when you realize that even though you *should* like a genre, you pretty much completely hate most of the crap that's written?

Like, I *SHOULD* love both scifi and cyberpunk, and in truth, the concepts still give me inspirations. The written works, however.... I can only imagine as what it would feel like to have a plastic spoon shoved up my ass to clean out my colon. In fact, that procedure might be preferable.

I don't like the writing. I think the premises are boring and don't even interest me. The characters.... WHAT characters?! The cream of the crop is the fact that the endings are JUST as tasteless as american processed cheese product, government grade. I don't even remember them.

I don't even remember the settings, let alone any of the particulars... they all run together into the same never-ending stream of 'scifi' that I can't identify. It's just 'scifi slush' to me - even when I'm desperately attempting to read something new. One, big, soupy, greenish-brown-colored jumbo slush.

So what do you do when you have no interest in your favorite genres? (The scary thing is, I actually have LESS than no interest in most other genres, or even, in most of what I see published.)

I want to be excited about books again! I want a publisher that will pick up some new no-name authors of good books and tell me about them - and be honest. I don't want to read chicklit-in-space, masked as scifi. I don't want to read fantasy in space - with modern dark-age tools and practices, and I don't want to read pulp-comic-books-in-space either. Give me something INSPIRING.

Give me something NEW. Give me something to TREASURE and CHERISH and purchase in LIMITED EDITION SUPER GOLD-FOILED HARD COVER WITH SLIPCASE.... Give me something that makes me WONDER.

GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT IS NOT MORE OF THE SAME!

Wow, depressing

I was going through my world building worksheet, filling in all kinds of details, when I came across the "Wars, Treaties, etc." section.

So, I thought, well hell, let's go back a few generations of this world and build up all the conflicts that would have brought them here.

Wow. Yeah. That's depressing.

Six wars (at least) - BIG wars - in the last 12 generations. Yiiiiiiiiish....It's almost painful to go through all of the reasons, ideas, cultures, and dogma associated with the wars. And then come the treaties, which can end one war but sow the seeds for another.

So after that uplifting experience, I took a break and went into their modes of transportation. (Something about using a mass driver to shoot fuel to ships in space just has me cracking up - FIRE IN THE HOLE! THE RECOIL!)

I think I'll stop writing about their wars for a while, and concentrate on the three endings as well as picking up some more index cards and shuffling them about.

No, Dad, I don't have a 'proper' name picked out yet, I'm still tossing the names (and ending configurations) around to see what sticks. At least I have part of the history actually written now, in at least a few paragraphs for each war.

I did get a good laugh out of reading a 'literary' debate today that attempted to use quantitative arguments to state what was 'superior' art and what was 'inferior' art... it was humorous seeing how the person making the quantitative assessments couldn't see them for what they were - a reflection of his own biases.

The scary thing is, he probably thought he was being perfectly logical.

My Novel's Heart

Somewhere in the course of shuffling through naming schema and screaming, "OMFG NO, THAT SOUNDS LIKE CHICK LIT," I stumbled upon all kinds of other thoughts that had intrinsic connections to the title of the pieces.

What is my novel's heart?
Do I want something of my readers?

The second question is easy - yes, yes I do. I would love to affect a transformation of my reader's reality - of the world and of themselves. I would love for my readers to see the world I have created and understand the people and the psychology and the language of them all. I would love for my readers to take a piece of that world with them as they close the book. So yes, I want something from my readers - I want them to remember my world, long after I'm gone or the books are gone or whatever may be. I want my readers to be engaged in my world, inside of it, not simply entertained. If they wanted entertainment, they could watch a movie or read a cheap scifi bestseller. No, I want more. I want to give more.

That is, perhaps, the heart of the novel. I want to engage people in my world. There is something more at stake in the heart of my novel than just entertainment. My world will live if people connect with it. I want it to live. I want people to *wonder* about my world.

There are a few books that I've read that have caused me to continue to wonder, long after I've read and re-read their stories.

Engaging readers, however, is one of those illusive little dreams - where the ticket to accomplishing the task is to know just how much subtlety your intended audience can pick up on - because if you smack them over the head with what you *want* to say, they will close off immediately. No, the proof is in the pudding - if you can weave the whole iceberg of your world just under the edge of a reader's 'overtness' meter, then they will have the opportunity to be engaged and not simply entertained.

Whether they choose to be engaged - that's a whole different department of psychology.

What's in a name?

For a significant amount of time now, my novels have had a specific set of names... and I've been relatively happy with them.

Well, until I was helping CBU with naming HIS novels.

NOW MINE SUCK. Time to fix them. But of course, that means that I need to start all over in my 'finding patterns and meaning' sessions. argh. This would be so much easier if I were a quasi-chick-lit writer *cough*LKH,Justina Robson*cough* instead of wanting to write something... I don't know.... more.

That's exactly what I want to read, 'more' - but I can't find it. I can't find a book (or set of books) that give me, not only a world - that's the easy part - but real characters, language, sociology, psychology, and just something else that's new. I mean, the stories will never be new now, but the rest of the book can be. (Ok, I'm being a BIT pessimistic here... after all, neil gaiman's work does give me quite a bit 'more' of what I'm looking for - his stories stay with me and evolve and shift and inspire... and that's what I want - that kind of 'more' ... some of the older works do it too, so let me be a touch more realistic with my defeatism.)

I don't want to read Yet-Another-Mary-Sue in space/fantasy/science fiction. I'm done with space operas. I'm completely through with cyberpunk (as it's currently written... or not written as the case may be...) I think I'm just completely sick of genre fiction.

I've been trying to figure out why scifi novels aren't 'sticking' with me ... I've read a lot of scifi, from classics to new stuff... and... I'm just not moved. I don't care/remember the stories an hour after I finish the books... and all of fantasy (except tolkien) seems to just disgust me... like... runny peas. ARGH. Maybe I'm too picky or too elitist. Well, either that, or I'm just sick of the genre fiction coming out. I'm not seeing things to get excited over.

Why am I talking about this? Well... as I was going over 'new' name ideas and brainstorming... I was looking over the scifi section of my local bookstore and my eyes glazed over. None of the names jump out at me, they all seem... the same. Bleh. That got me to thinking things like, "why can't I find stories I love in scifi/genre?"

Maybe I should just name my books after Chocolate (Theobromine), Coffee (Caffeine), and Chilis (Capsaicin) ... oooh now I want a chili-mocha. Ok, time to ponder and think and think of things that make more sense than the names I have now... which suck.

Writing is just another word for 'obsessive compulsive behaviour.'

Smorgasbord

Let's see, LED candles, O'Reilly Pocket Ruby, Plot & Structure, Moleskine, Stardust, Lexan Bottles (in Cherry Red, of COURSE), Satsuma, The Spirit of Moonflower, and of course, LibraryThing. Stuff, stuff, stuff and more stuff.

Stardust was an incredible book, and then became an irresistible movie... I mean, wow. I was impressed and even ok with paying for theatre tickets to go see it. It was *THAT* good. YAY! A movie that doesn't suck!

But even better! I have plotz! And story linez! This year WILL be the year of my bookz! They will be created! (Yes, I'm writing again. I may even use grammar!) The bookz! THEY LIVE!

Planets? Check. People? Check. Consistency? Getting there. At least there is SOME consistency now... SOME. At least it's getting closer to something that resembles coherency. (Can't say that for some of the last chick lit-I mean, science fiction I've read lately.)

Entropy, however, has decided that she wants to eat the rubber rim of her food bowl... and carpet. I'm afraid that doesn't sit well with her stomach. poor little fat butt. New pictures coming of her soon - she looks like a little DOLL... it's so cute. Man, just an adorable little face. (Not so adorable is her insatiable biting/chewing needs right now though...)

But, I hear the needs of the many people on two unnamed planets calling me, so, I'm off to 'correctly' name their planet, so that they can have an identity. (OMG, THEY'RE IDENTITILESS! HOW JUNGIAN!)

(see eliott, I brog often!)

Touring with the banned.

Celebrate your inner rebel! Read a banned book!

Google has a great list of banned books. it's the 21st century and we're STILL banning / challenging books?! I'd rather 'challenge' a book on MERITS *cough*LKH*cough* (and no, I'm not uneducated nor am I a prude, so no, LKH, it's not that I am somehow 'challenged' by your 'content' - I'm appalled at the LACK OF CONTENT. If I want a book on science fiction or fantasy then if that is what your novels are labeled as, that is what I EXPECT to read! I'm an unhappy reader when a flimsy story is filled and padded with pornographic content and then SOLD AS scifi/fantasy. I mean, if I want to read porn, I'll read porn.) than on CONTENT... I mean, To Kill a Mockingbird has been challenged in 2007?! That's the kind of thing that makes me think it's not the book that's challenged... but the people!

And speaking of book challenges...

I think, unfortunately, that I am through attempting to find... literary cyberpunk... or hell, even good cyberpunk. Much of the new stuff coming out labeled as 'cyberpunk' or along those lines - it hasn't been nearly as well written as the earlier stuff (and most of that trash is overblown pulp crap...yiiiiick.) I love the idea, I love the inspirations, and I love much of the underpinnings of the genre... but I have significant problems with the written works. The endings... suck. The writing is pulpy and boring - and outside of some of the 'new' technologies they incorporate as if they were extra additions to the scenery, the stories are contrived and weary.

I wanted new, fresh takes on stories (since 'new' stories don't really exist...) But that's not what I get. I get tired stories with new background paint. I don't want hot little technologies used as paint. Why don't the social structures that have grown with these new technologies change and adapt to them?! It's like - let's take the current socio-political climate and just add a bunch of sexy new cybernetics to the people... but, of course, nothing *ELSE* will change... No no, you can't have people actually *REACT* to the advancement of sciences... because, then, you might need to THINK COHERENTLY as a writer... No, it's much easier to use clever new devices as a fashion accessory.

How disappointing for a genre that's supposed to be cutting-edge.

No, I want to read things like, "the stories of tolkien's world, as it has fallen into a dystopian state after the fall of the information age during the birth of the cybernetics age." I think something like that would force a writer to think about alternate socio-political viewpoints and histories - as well as the differences in psychologies for those people in regard to 'machines' ... what a treasure trove of possibilities!

For now though, I'm going to have to stick with my free-thinking banned / challenged book collections, in order to be truly captured by 'new' ideas. Ha! How's that for a laugh! Reading classics to find the 'new' ... sad, really.

Needs the hoodies, precious...

Other than the fact that I'm on my 'taters for every meal' food kick again (what's taters, precious?), I've been noticing that my closet is lacking in hoodies.

Now, I have been looking around at sewing machines, thinking about how I can use all these cute new faux furs in the fabric store to make just adorable hoodies... (I mean, come on... super silky soft fake fur sewn into a cute hoodie, with bunny ears on the hood, with maybe a nice chinese brocade lining... you KNOW that would be adorable... oooh, especially if I made a cute satin-ribbon belt.... super snuggly soft and cute... of course... I may not go out in PUBLIC with my cute new hoodie...but knowing me, I probably would.) Yeah, as soon as CBU and I find a place we're going to stay in for more than a few months, the sewing machine is coming home with me and a bolt of faux fur. I WILL HAVE MY CUTE HOODIE!

But enough about my delusions of sewing grandeur, I've found some really hot hoodies that are on my christmas list for this year...
The Twisty Red-Orange
The Rabbit Girl
The Venustus Knit Burgundy

Oh yes... it will be a hoodie wearing happiness holiday this year.

Oooooh! Did I mention I'm gearing up for a great Nanowrimo this year? I've got my Plot back on a track for 'doingness' and I hope to have as many obstacles in my writing of the plot removed as possible (P.S. I LOVE that plot book - it's almost essential for a psychological-based writer such as myself... I didn't really have a quantitative explanation for those things I *know* about my writing. This book delivers those quantitative pieces.) I've got my moleskines and writer's cafe with me every day, as well as a list of books on the wishlist to inform some of the more intricate aspects and details of the crafting surrounding the books.

On the Entropy front - our little bitc... bundle of joy... is experiencing her first full hormonal period. She can't walk three steps without leaving her calling card puddle behind her. Nice. I might as well live in plastic gloves. She took her stitches out by herself though, and she received her vaccinations, so, she should be pretty healthy now. Only a few more weeks to go before she goes back in to get the ovaries yanked. I hope my floor survives. (And my shoes, ankles, pants, and everything ELSE she's biting lately... man, she's so aggressive right now!)

AT-Walkering.

Ohhhhh, ok, I know I can talk at LENGTH about my snuggly little wumpus (caterwompian moosasaurus) Entropy... but this is just too funny not to share.

She is a hoppy little ball of nibbling energy, with ears and a bell, and she's very social. She wants to play (AND POOP) all the time now. She's still on her 'training' leash while until she grows a bit more and gets desexed.

So. She's on this leash that lets her play all over the kitchen and bathroom tile (no carpet until she's desexed without SERIOUS supervision!)

Well... if you walk into the kitchen... she will RUN AROUND YOUR FEET, until you have become "at-walkered" and fall. Picture you as the AT-AT Walker... and she's Luke Skywalker... her leash will bring you down!

She DELIGHTS in running around your feet multiple times until you are completely secured. It's the greatest game to her, to be under foot and bringingz youz downz.

Crap, Cruft, and Clutter.

I think I have figured out that I simply do not fit in with many current mind sets. It takes me almost three years to choose and decide to purchase a new watch (under $500) after my previous watch was stolen... and even when I had decided to purchase a new watch... it still took me almost nine months to decide on one. I can't take most purchases with the kind of 'money and space will always be available to me' attitude that I see so many people flaunt.

Christ, having more than $200 debt on my credit cards nearly sends me into panic mode.

It took me three months to decide to purchase a $40 blanket. I looked at it quite a bit. Checked other places for higher or lower qualities. Price check. Then the two month, "do I really need this?!" check. Blankets have dual-purposes... they are used to keep you warm AND protect your items when you need to pack and move. I eventually decided $40 was a good buy for a recycled bamboo blanket.

I almost never purchase anything not food-related on a whim. I *HATE* impulse buying. It's crap. It will end up being cruft. Then it will become landfill for the next gajillion years because it's made of stuff that isn't biodegradable. I CAN'T STANDZ ITZ! (However, I will pick up marzipan croissants for CBU on a whim... because that's just fun - he loves them. I introduced him to marzipan - an almond-sugar creme, and the boy was hooked. I'M A FOOD PUSHER! MWAHAHAHAHA)

Anything that costs more than $500 .... yeah. I'll be thinking about that for a while. I mean, do I REALLY need it?! How did I live before without it?! Did something in my situation change that now requires me to purchase something like that?! Oh yeah, you can see where I go with this.

I don't own a tv. I don't own a motorized vehicle anymore. I don't need them. I don't own a house anymore (god, the upkeep... flats are the way to go! owning a flat ROCKS!) The only kind of big-ticket items I look at anymore are new futons or bookshelves.

I've cut my life down to (big items / furniture-wise): a table for my computer, a chair, a lamp, a small table for my butsudan, a rice cooker, a water kettle, a vacuum coffee maker, two gas burners for a stove, a convection oven the size of a microwave (no microwave), a small fridge, a futon, bookshelves, and a small couch. That's it.

What's the point of having a refrigerator the size of an armoire?! I'd RATHER have the ARMOIRE! I purchase fresh vegetables every week, and use what I purchase. I don't have leftovers. I like having ice and cool vodka/tequila, so, a small freezer is nice. Teeny tiny fridge...

I also don't understand the point of having shin-high tables everywhere. Clutter. Clutter-dust-magnets. Nope. Tossed those. Bookshelves serve a better purpose. I have tons and tons of books. (Ok, if I have ONE impulse buy trigger... it will be a book... or several.)

I wear t-shirts and jeans, underwear and socks. I don't need a closet the size of a japanese flat. I have a basic free-standing armoire with a single shelf above, a pole for hanging things, and six metal baskets. All of my t-shirts are rolled into cute little sushi rolls and stuffed into sacks. Clean, fast, efficient. No crap & cruft. Just grab and go.

I own super awesome thin anti-microbial microfiber camping towels (in curry yellow and cornflower blue,) because eight of them take up as much space as a SINGLE regular towel. (They're MUCH higher quality!) They soak up water like nothing else... super dry, super fast.

I just don't need 'stuff' .... it doesn't make sense to have it, to me. I want to be fluid in my living arrangements. What if tomorrow I decide I want to move across the world, again? I want to drop and go. I don't want to have to think, "oh dear, how will I ever move all of this CRAP?!" I want to grab the plastic bins, fill them, tape them, and box them up. I use plastic bins as storage and organizers. Keep everything in it's place, and have a place for everything. Files and records are kept in plastic filing bins. Lock, tape, box, and go.

Minimalist is probably what most people think of my flat. They would probably be right. I just don't want or need a lot of 'stuff' ... I'm perfectly happy living in what amounts to a library with a bed and table-desk. Less is MORE. My flat isn't finished unless there is nothing else I can get rid of.

I even keep the number of dishes and kitchen items I own down to a very low number. I do not need many things. A good wok. A simple saucepan. Two to four small bowls, salad plates, water glasses. Chopsticks. Wooden spoon. Two or three metal spoons. A single butter knife. Three cutting knives (and maybe a sushi knife...) A cutting board. A sushi serving tray. A tea-leaf brewing basket. Measuring spoons / cups. Forks... maybe, maybe not. If I decide I need them, then only two. Bamboo rolling mat. Two sauce bowls. Nice locking plastic containers for wet/dry items. A strainer. A single polycarbonate bowl.

That's pretty much it for kitchen dishes. I make all kinds of things with just those few pieces. Japanese food, indian food, greek food, french food, italian food... sometimes even cajun food. I can make most items with just these few pieces. (Ok ok, I DO own a super high end, expensive as all shit, Kitchenaid Mixer... and I wouldn't mind a food processor...) I think though, in light of the fact that I own such simple things, I'm really not pushing things with my super kickass mixer. Shhh. Let me live in my delusions.

Oh, then we come to shoes. Let me piss off most women right now with this statement: SHOES ARE NOT A FASHION ACCESSORY. They protect your feet from the elements and provide traction/comfort. I own a pair of merrell mocs (in stone), keen mary janes (in potting soil), and keen water sandals (in apricot) for every day. (I do also own a pair of red glitter diesel sneakers... but those were my dream from when I was two.) That's it. A pair for hiking/winter. A pair for water/summer. A pair that looks classier, but is exceptionally functional. (Then my special red sparkly ruby slipper sneakers for fun.) I don't wear heels (except VERY special occasions...) I don't wear flip-flops. I don't wear anything that pinches, hurts, can't run, can't walk, kills my back, or in any other way has function as the LOWEST (non-existant?!) priority. And I sure as hell don't match my 'shoes to my handbag' .... GAG.

I don't even CARRY A HANDBAG! What on this green (about to be only blue) earth could I possibly need a handbag for?! I carry cards and/or cash. Seems like something smaller than most men's wallets will suit me just fine.

"WAIT!" I hear all the women scream, what about your makeup, candy, vices, tampons, perfume, cellphone, pda, day planner, pens, paper, and all your JUNK?! Right. This one is easy. I DON'T CARRY OR EVEN OWN MOST OF THAT SHIT! I have a teeny tiny cellphone. It fits in my jeans. I don't own a freaking dayplanner... and the rest of that stuff... no effing way. I wear mascara and eyeliner, no need to tote those around since they aren't coming off. Perfume? Are you kidding me?! If you bathed, you wouldn't need all that stink juice. Most perfumes smell like a rancid brewery. I can't stand when I can smell a rotten woman five blocks away. Yuck. I don't need candy or anything else weighing me down. I plan ahead. I don't need to take a bathroom with me. Science. H. Logic.

I have an uber small pen, if I even want to take it - and a moleskine notebook. I carry a book bag / messenger bag / courier bag if I need to carry books / paper / pens, but I don't load it up with all that shit. No, a cluttered handbag is a cluttered person/mind. It's not like you can run with that kitchen sink under your armpit, jesus. Oh wait, what am I thinking, it's not like they would be able to run in their high-heeled knee-high boots ANYWAY.

Crap. Cruft. Clutter. The very quintessence of the modern day woman's abode. No thank you.

One blocked bunny.

Poor little Entropy! She ate too much bad stuff and apparently was partially blocked (you know, where you can't get everything out when you GO.) CBU and I have been giving her lots of love, extra hay, tummy rubs, and changing her play area around to help. We've removed anything she could get her little paws on that we suspected might be causing the problem (my god, she'll attack any plastic or fabric bag within sight range - even ones WE didn't see!) Plus, she's on an antibiotic.

And, so far, her treatments have been working. No more swollen tummy!

Of course, the BAD side to this is... now that she's not blocked anymore... she's had a lot of shit built up, literally. SHE IS A POOPING MACHINE! Many of her pellets have shiny blue/white plastic in them as well... so, yeah, that could not have been good. BUT MY GOD, THE POOPING. Oh, let me just stand over here. Poop. I think I'll lay down. Poop. Hmmm, I want some fresh water. Poop. Where's my favorite cardboard box? Poop. I think I'll just POOP walk POOP over POOP here POOP to POOP the POOP end POOP of POOP my POOP play POOP area POOP.

Ohhhhhh, and, did I mention, she's hormonal? That's right... she's now become one of the, "OMFG I NEED TO BE PREGGERS RIGHT NOW" bunnies. And what does that mean? Ohhhh, right. Poop. Poop. Poop. PIDDLE. Poop. Poop. Poop. PIDDLE.

Yep. She's peeing her love song. Trying to attract a mate.

This is me, scrubbing behind the princess. Super scrubby in one hand, broom and dustpan in the other. GLOVES ON BOTH!

WILL THIS SHIT NEVER END? (and the peeing... the peeing is REALLY the bad part... little dry pellets aren't so bad to clean up... it COULD be worse, she could be a cat... ugh.)

Of course, every time she cleans her ears or flops down... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, isn't that CUTE?! Even if I have gloves on and I'm scrubbing where she just piddled. She's SOOOOOOOOO CUTE!

A little art?

I'm not asking for much. I just want to read art, in genre. Other than tolkien. What I see on the shelves passing for genre right now is most definitely not art. At best, it's genre excrement.

I'm tired of the same stories, told in the same way. And the next time I see, "with a twist you'll never see coming," I'm going to scream bloody murder. The reason you never see it coming? BECAUSE THE AUTHOR CAN'T EFFING WRITE.

I don't want to read a badly done re-hash of LoTR, minus all of the details that make the story come alive. (THIS MEANS YOU FANTASY WRITERS!) And science fiction? Oh get real. Implausible-Science, Brain-Dead-Fiction. SCREW CHARACTERS, SWISS CHEESE FOR PLOT... WE HAVE SPACE ACTION! It was great in the 30s. I'll even say we had some fun stuff in the 50s. Now? Drivel and Dreck.

Is it HONESTLY too much to ask for ART?! Of course, given the state of much of the popular art these days... perhaps that's the wrong plea.

Maybe a better request would be to ask to be intrigued. Entertainment I don't need, but ideas and inspirations... now those are worth spending my money on. I'll gladly fork over money to Neil Gaiman (especially for the two-volume hardcover sandman editions...) I appreciate his work. I just wish there were more like him, in genre. I can read his work over and again, and it never fails to change me.

That is very rare, and very precious to me.

Write my obsessions?

I was reading 'Writing Down the Bones' by Natalie Goldberg today and came across this little jewel: "Write my obsessions."

Of course, when I actually *LOOK* at my obsessions, then I start laughing. GREAT. I'm going to write a novel about an angry woman that is obsessed with the loss of intelligence as a prevalent female trend, the fact that fashion takes up over 9/10s of a woman's thoughts, and that I can't find any decent, functional, and minimalistic items for things so basic as carrying books or telling time.

Because those are the things that drive me bonkers.

Of course, she'll also have bunches of small animals for pets, live on chocolate, own a giant library full of gorgeous books, and have a room dedicated to paper arts and music. And maybe some eastern minimalist furniture with a brushed steel kitchen.

After that though, she'll need some coffee. Maybe some cool uber tiny technical toys.

OMFG I'M A NUT CASE.

The funny thing is... I think my novel was *ALREADY* about my obsessions. Well... I'm halfway there!

Coffee delivery & entropy updates

My beloved Bodum Santos Electric coffee pot stopped heating water. This is a devastating development, because I needz my coffeez. I mean, come on, it's a vacuum coffee pot for peet's sake! It beats the beans off of a standard western drip-coffee pot with a burner under the carafe, so it's not like I'm going to run out and get a cheap-o coffee pot replacement, YICK. Come on. It's VACUUM!

So, I emailed Bodum in Gondwanaland. TO MY SHOCK, they truly understood customer service. With the upc from my box, a new element has been rushed to me, no questions asked. (Perhaps they have witnessed the horror that is CBU without his morning caw-feeeee?) I'll get the new piece in roughly five more days.

BUT WHAT DO I DO ABOUT CAFFEINE WITHDRAWALS RIGHT NOW?!

Ahhhhhhh... the wonder that is CBU.... to the rescue. I'm drinking a mocha, delivered to me (and I didn't even need to have pants on!) fresh and full of chocolaty coffee goodness.

On the Entropy front, we've taken away much of her 'processed food' and removed any access whatsoever to plastics and things that she had been chewing on without us noticing. I'm about to cut up some extra hay and put it next to her chewing block so that she can have some help in her poor GI tract.

Oh! For those of you wanting to know how large this little dwarf 'deconstructor of the macroscopic state' actually was in real life... Here she is, attacking a DVD of Johnny Mnemonic that CBU is holding:

Notice those cute spots... those inquisitive ears... the pretty red harness with the bell... that teeny tiny front paw...

DON'T LET THEM FOOL YOU!

She's a MASTER of CHAOS in a cute little package...

She's secretly planning to take over the world as you can see... she can read y'know.... and she knows a cheesy made film of a decent PKD story when she sees it...

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!

Oh noes Entropy!

Entropy went to the vet today, but she didn't get desexed. It turns out that all that super body fat she had been packing away - that made her look like a soccer ball with legs... wasn't fat.

The poor thing was stuffed to the ears in gas! (Bunnies don't fart!)

So. She's on antibiotics now (and her ovaries are still intact.) In ten days she'll have her stitches removed. The bad thing is - I don't know what caused the problems in her stomach, so, I'm removing all of her extra chew toys and the newer foods I introduced and I'm going to throw out the food I have now, and replace it tomorrow with the food from the pet store where I bought her - in hopes of returning her very delicate system back to one of health.

And she'll get a nice new heating pad tomorrow too... to aid in her healing. So that means the surgery has been put off for a month (oh no, I have to traumatize her again next month... argh.) But, I'll get her a travel bag this month so she can at least be much more comfortable.

bad mommy!

watches and desexing

The funny thing about my blog title is that they are two different subjects, but desexing might as well apply to watches - and my rants about them.

Ever since my watch was stolen a few years ago while I was enjoying a bike ride, I have been timeless - but not in the good sense. I wore a livestrong bracelet for a long time to help me get over the, "HELP! MY WRIST IS NAKED!" feeling, (and because it's a good cause!) But for almost the last year, I couldn't help feeling like I was swimming through each day. So, I started looking at watches for a replacement.

I didn't know that watches for women weren't meant to tell TIME anymore, no no, they tell ANYTHING BUT TIME. I can have fake diamonds encrusting a band that makes it look like I'm covering my wrist in sparkling athletic bandage wraps, but forget telling time. With a watch face the size of my fist, there isn't a single spec of a number to be found. As for other styles - I can have every piece of dangling crap ever created hanging from my wrist, but forget having numbers on the square/weird watch face. Sometimes, on the "you might as well wear this for a belt-buckle-in-Texas" sized face watches, you can have one to four numbers on a round or square dial. Ok, having limited numbers on a round face isn't so bad... but on a rectangular, square or ODD shaped watch face... NUMBERS ARE IMPORTANT... for telling time... which probably isn't the purpose behind a seriously gaudy watch.

Unless I want to wear a smaller version of a man's watch. So, if I put on cbu's watch, I can actually have numbers. And hey, they made it two-toned, JUST FOR WOMEN!

What happened to having a nice little watch without diamonds encrusted onto every conceivable surface, with numbers on the face and a slim, feminine design? CBU's watch is perfect - for HIM. It LOOKS like a man's watch. I don't care HOW SMALL they try and scale it down, it's a man's watch, scaled down.

So. I was left with a small quandary. Do I buy a man's-wannabe-watch and get numbers? Do I buy a watch that covers my arm in the watch face so that I can have somewhere between one and four numbers? Or, do I give in and purchase a prettier watch without numbers?

So, several months ago, CBU had spotted a 'minimalist' watch he thought looked pretty. Being the watch snob I was, I disregarded it because the watch face was 'too big' and it didn't have any numbers on the face. So today, we're trying to see if we could find a watch for me, when I saw a watch that was pretty, but I was hesitant about... the watch face was kind of large and it didn't have any numbers on the face. I tried it on. Yes, the watch face is kind of large for my wrist, but it looked pretty. After seeing it on my wrist, I decided I liked it quite a bit.

And I'll be damned if it's not the EXACT watch CBU picked out first.

There aren't any links in the watch band, it's a solid stainless steel bracelet, and the watch face can't actually rotate around to the underside of my wrist because the bracelet doesn't bend. There is actually a dark mirror in the center, and the crystal covers the entire face.

so years after going watchless, I'm now right on time.

As for desexing - tomorrow Entropy will have her first visit to the vet to be spayed. That's right, tomorrow, our little rampaging-hormones-filled bunny will have all the things causing her to be seriously aggressive and 'bitchy' removed, leaving her the sweet little bunny we know and love.

Now if only I could do the same thing to some other people... ha!

Ok, time to get back to work... literally!

CBU's Birthday

It was CBU's birthday on the 30th... so...

We ate chocolate. My god, the chocolate. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Chocolate everywhere. The back of my skull felt like I had a rabies-infested drugged-out rabbit gnawing on the grey matter that is my brain. My neurons were in shock. My eyes couldn't focus. Did I mention that smelling light hurt?

Oh, the chocolate.

Then, we bought books. LOTS of books. Tons of books to ship to our teeny tiny flat. WE NEEDZ THE BOOKZ! Let's see, CBU got a technical pen, a super awesome packtowl, a medium-sized plain moleskine, the year zero NIN album, an APC sticker for his coffee cup, some new caterpillar shoes...

AND CHOCOLATE.

Oh, and we discovered LibraryThing as a totally awesome online version of Alexandria. Sweet. It's like last.fm yumminess for books. I'm all up in the books, yo.

And, did I mention, chocolate TODAY TOO?!

Oh god my brain is frying. I need sleeps.