Holiday Dinner

It seems like everyone and their brother has a recipe list for how to do a holiday dinner for 12, 24, or 50... but jeez, what if you only have a holiday with LESS than a dozen people?! How about people that only have 2 or 4 for dinner?! And that other fun one... less than a dozen people that are vegan... Well, so then here are recipes for *small* celebrations -- VEGAN recipes. And screw making everything from scratch (if you can avoid it), I want to enjoy the holidays, not cook all freaking day!

Holiday Menu:
Wood-Smoked Tofu and Celery, Almond, Mushroom, Basil Stuffing with Mushroom and White Wine Gravy
Crème Fraîche Mashed Potatoes
Tiramisu
(Holiday Drinks in the previous recipe. heh.)

Wood-Smoked Steamed Tofu:
Ingredients:
smoked tofu (if you can't find Smoked Tofu, purchase firm or extra firm Tofu. Also purchase a plank of untreated hickory, walnut, oak, myrtle, etc. wood about the size of your tofu and wash it clean.)
basil leaves, whole
diced thyme or lemon thyme
Celery, Mushroom, Almond, Basil Stuffing (see below)

Prepare the steamer:
if you are smoking your own tofu, brush olive oil on both sides and place in the bottom of the steaming basket. Place basil leaves on the wood.
If you are not smoking your own tofu, simply add basil leaves to the bottom of the steaming basket.

Assemble Tofu with Stuffing:
Slice the tofu into layers. Place on layer upon the basil-prepared wood plank in the steamer. Shape a layer of stuffing in your hand and place on top of the tofu layer. Add a teaspoon of diced thyme or lemon thyme. Repeat for each layer of tofu, except the top layer. Place two or three basil leaves upon the top of the tofu.

Steam for 30-45 minutes, depending on if you have one or two packages of tofu.


Celery, Mushroom, Almond, Basil Stuffing:
Ingredients:
1 cup instant herb stuffing
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup sliced almonds
2 stalks celery, chopped or diced
1 medium mushroom, chopped or diced
A handful of basil leaves, rolled up and then sliced

Prepare:
In a bowl, add water, celery, almonds, mushroom and basil. Stir until mixed. Add stuffing while mixing with a fork. When the water has been soaked into the stuffing mix, it is ready to 'stuff' in the tofu layers.


Crème Fraîche Mashed Potatoes:
4 serves (servings) instant mashed potatoes or potato flakes
1 1/2 cups almond milk (creamy soy milk will also work)
1 1/2 cups water
125 grams (1/2 cup) soy crème fraîche
salt, pepper

In a sauce pan, heat water, almond milk, and about a teaspoon of salt until little bubbles appear in the surface. Turn off the heat and stir in potatoes. Stir in crème fraîche. Add salt and pepper to taste.

If you cannot find soy crème fraîche, you can make your own:
Soy Crème Fraîche:
150 ml Silken Tofu
45 ml Lemon Juice (fresh squeezed is best)
45 ml Water
15 ml Tea or Vegetable Oil
2.5 ml Salt
Blend until very smooth


Mushroom and White Wine Gravy:
Ingredients
4-5 medium finely chopped mushrooms
1-2 finely chopped shallots
200 ml of soy crème fraîche
125 ml of white wine
1 tbs of dairy-free butter
1 crushed garlic clove
pinch of nutmeg
salt and pepper

Preparation
Melt the butter over low heat in a medium-sized saucepan. Add the chopped shallots and fry for 3 - 4 minutes (when you smell them, they are about done.) Add the garlic and fry for another 2 minutes. Add the chopped mushrooms. Salt and pepper to taste. Stir all of the ingredients together and cook until the mushrooms have softened and darkened in colour. Turn the heat up on the stove and pour in the white wine. Stir the ingredients and cook until the mixture coats a spoon (reduced about 2/3). Turn the heat down and stir in the crème fraîche and nutmeg.


Tiramisu:
Ingredients:
3.5 Tbs demerara sugar or raw sugar
1 No-Egg (1 tsp No-Egg + 2 tbs water)
2 No-Egg whites (4 tsp No-Egg + 2 tbs water)
4 Tbs Frangelico
150 Ml black, strong coffee
300 grams pound cake
200 grams (about 3/4 Cup) soy mascarpone
cocoa powder (I just have a 300 gram bag of dutch-style cocoa powder on hand for sprinkling over each layer)

Prepare:
Slice the pound cake into four layers.
Whisk the mascarpone, 1 No-Egg, and Sugar until consistent and smooth. In a separate bowl, whisk the 2 No-Egg whites until thick and firm. Fold the No-Egg whites into the mascarpone mixture.
Mix the Frangelico and Coffee in a separate bowl.

Assemble:
For each layer of pound cake, using a table spoon, gently pour the coffee mixture over the cake until no 'cake' edges remain without coffee. Cover with a layer of the mascarpone mixture. Using a spoon, gently tap cocoa powder to cover the mascarpone layer. Repeat steps for the remaining three layers.

Chill for at least 30 minutes before serving.

If you can't find Soy Mascarpone cheese, you can make your own:
Soy Mascarpone:
1 Cup Soy Cream Cheese
1/2 Cup Soy Sour Cream
3/4 Cup Soy Cream
Blend until creamy, refrigerate at least one hour before using.

If you can't find a vegan pound cake, I have a recipe here for a nice one, use a loaf pan for best results:
Ingredients (have everything at room temperature)
3 tablespoons almond milk (45 grams ) (soy will also work.)
3 no-eggs (150 grams)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla (6 grams)
1 1/2 cups sifted cake flour (150 grams)
1/4 cup sugar (150 grams)
3/4 teaspoon baking powder (3.7 grams)
1/4 teaspoon salt
13 tablespoons unsalted dairy-free butter (must be softened) (184 grams)

Grease a 4-cup (8-inch by 4-inch by 2 1/2-inch, imperial) loaf pan, line the bottom with parchment or wax paper, and then grease again and flour.
Preheat the oven to 350 F / 175 C.

In a medium bowl lightly combine the milk, no-eggs, and vanilla.
In a large mixing bowl combine the dry ingredients and mix on low speed for 30 seconds to blend. Add the butter and half the egg mixture. Mix on low speed until the dry ingredients are moistened. Increase to medium speed (high speed if using a hand mixer) and beat for 1 minute to aerate and develop the cake's structure.

Scrape down the sides. Gradually add the remaining egg mixture in 2 batches, beating for 20 seconds after each addition to incorporate the ingredients and strengthen the structure. Scrape down the sides.

Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and smooth the surface with a spatula. The batter will be almost 1/2 inch from the top of the 4-cup loaf pan. (If your pan is slightly smaller, use any excess batter for cupcakes.)

Bake 55 to 65 minutes (35 to 45 minutes in a fluted tube pan) or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cover loosely with buttered foil after 30 minutes to prevent over-browning. The cake should start to shrink from the sides of the pan only after removal from the oven.

Let the cake cool in the pan on a rack for 10 minutes and invert it onto a greased wire rack. To keep the bottom from splitting, re-invert so that the top is up and cool completely before wrapping airtight.


What freaking order do I do all this in, huh?
Ok, this is a very simple dinner, but it is very filling and can make for some festive fun. But what order do you prepare all this crap? Well, if you're not having to make the pound cake from scratch -- make the tiramisu first (if you have to make the pound cake from scratch -- start the day before and make the pound cake itself then!)
After the tiramisu is in the fridge, prepare the stuffing and then the tofu. While the tofu is steaming, prepare the mushroom and white wine gravy. The LAST thing you should make are the potatoes -- because when they're hot and mixed up, you're done!

Yuck! Eggnog!

So when you hate Eggnog, what do you drink for the holidays? Well, I've got some great recipes to swap in for the ucky Eggnog.

Samurai Magic:
Blend the following ingredients with ice:
60 ml Go-Shu Nama (Semi-Sweet Sake)
120 ml Marie Brizard Peche du Verger (Peach Liqueur)
30 ml Mohala (Mango Liqueur)
120 ml Pineapple Juice
120 ml Orange Juice
1 Large Mango
2 Peaches

Nutcracker Sweet:
Add together the following ingredients and shake over ice:
60 ml Mohala (Mango Liqueur)
60 ml Frangelico (Hazelnut Liqueur)
40 ml Orange Juice
80 ml Creamy Soy Milk

Now that's the way to enjoy the holidays!

Miracle on 34th Street Cookies

These cookies are so much fun to eat, but I warn you -- this recipe makes one entire 'cookie cake' in the shape of a heart, or LOTS of other sized cookies. Since it's egg-free, you can also eat the batter... and sometimes I do. Sometimes I eat the batter with rice cream or soy cream... and a splash of Frangelico.... oh man, what a holiday!

Ingredients:
5 Cups Oatmeal, coarsely blended
2 Cups Margarine (Dairy-free)
2 Cups Brown Sugar
2 Cups Sugar
6 tsp Ener-G or Orgran No-Egg egg replacer + 8 Tbs water (pre-mix)
2 tsp Vanilla (Mexican is best)
4 Cups Flour
2 tsp Baking Soda
2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp Salt
4 Cups Dark or Bittersweet Chocolate Chips
1 Large Dark Chocolate Candy Bar, frozen/grated
3 Cups Chopped Hazelnuts

Prepare Dough:
Measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a coffee-like powder. Cream margarine and both sugars; add pre-mixed egg substitute and vanilla. Mix together flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder and baking soda, blend in margarine-sugar mix. Add chocolate chips, candy bar, and nuts. Stir gently.

Bake:
Press into pre-greased heart-shaped shallow pan or roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 190 degrees Celsius (Europe/Australia) or 375 degrees Fahrenheit (USA).

Mmmmm coooooookies! (With a nice big glass of almond milk!)

Merry Bodhiday

I get asked every year, "Well you can't have a christmas tree or well, can you? Do you even celebrate holidays?" Every year, I try to explain the concept of "holy days" that are Buddhist.

I have a Bodhiday tree, not a christmas tree. It might look kind of like a christmas tree in that it's a fake fir tree with fibre-optic lights and a fibre-optic five-point star on top, but no one ever told me that a sparkly tree can only symbolise one tradition (history shows that the winter solstice tree came to be known as a christmas tree, after all.) :)

It has an iridescent-white garland wrapped around it like the wheel of Dharma. It also has a garland of iridescent round beads, similar to my Juzu. Then I also hung little tiny ball ornaments covered in hundreds of little mirrors (like disco balls) on some of the branches -- since my Gohonzon is a mirror. My tree reminds me of the principles I believe in -- and what more could I ask for?

I also usually have a wreath -- either in a Wheel of Dharma shape (circle of life) or in a heart-shape like the leaves of the Bodhi tree.

My Bodhiday dinner contains no animal products, and at least one dish containing figs (as the Bodhi tree is part of the fig tree family.)

Bodhi day celebrates the Buddha's enlightenment when he transcended that endless circle of life and death. I try to find symbols and objects which reflect all that Buddhism means to me during this time of year. I use star shapes and fibre-optic lights that look like the stars at night to reflect universal concepts of birth and death. I make a 'traditional' fig dish, symbolising the fruit of the Bodhi tree. I use heart shapes to represent the heart of the body as well as the leaves of the Bodhi tree. I put candles in lotus-shaped candle holders for dinner so that I am reminded of both the actual Lotus and the Lotus Sutra. Mirrors remind me of the sacred Gohonzon.

Do I still purchase gifts? Sure, I purchase food and books and clothing or pet items for my friends and family. I give them gifts because I'd like to share my world of happiness with them. I try to make sure I give things that people can use, even if it means a gift certificate. Food was the predominant gift this year. (As far as I can tell, Santa belongs to everyone. LOL.)

I send out Bodhiday cards that say I hope they find more happiness (with images of stars, hearts, leaves, figs and lotus flowers on them.) I usually send out a recipe or two with them (sometimes with a photo of a certain Bunny or Cat as well.)

Oh, and of course, I bake cookies. *(Recipe coming soon!)

I encourage all of my friends and family to shop online, in order to save them from the headache that is Consumerism this time of year -- that's my piece of holiday well-wishing to everyone -- use the internet and get out of the rush rush rush mindset if you want to purchase gifts!

Merry Bodhiday!

Happy Chrismukkahwanzas, only $99.95

Otherwise known as the Celebration of Consumerism. I mean, if it wasn't, then people wouldn't be pushing and shoving and cramming their obese asses into tiny shopping malls at four in the morning until closing for three weeks starting at the end of november in order to get 'everything on their holiday lists,' before ANYONE else can maliciously snipe those must-have-or-else-my-brat-will-scream-bloody-murder-for-at-least-the-next-month advertisement-fueled pieces of plastic soon-to-be-trash -- and by god, THEY will elbow you in the nose to GET THAT PIECE OF TRASH! I mean, their little snowflake's pieces of crap are important enough to devolve into grunting, stomping, and fighting to make sure that THEY get the LAST ONE.

Plastic. Plastic. Plastic. And I'm not just talking about the trinkets of trash or the bits used to pay for it all.

Shopping sucks sweaty donkey balls. I really hate it normally, but this time of year -- I *LOATHE* it.

And I'm sorry, but I just don't buy the oft-repeated, but little-valued "it's the time of year for love, family, and friendship." BULLSHIT! I call SHENANIGANS! It's the time of year when people desperately attempt to BUY love, acceptance, and forgiveness for being rotten human beings from the people they live with (or once did) and the people in society that they'd rather ignore and pretend don't exist than treat with any human dignity.

Don't even get me started on religious freaks sending cards that say "peace on earth" because what they SHOULD say is, "PEACE ON EARTH HAPPENS UNDER MY RELIGION ONLY, HEATHENS!" because THAT is what they mean by peace on earth. *shudder*

Can you guess that I was out shopping today?

Genre reading list...

Some of my top (current) books in my reading list? Well, for genre reading, that's more specific and probably easier for me to write... sorta. I'll stick with science fiction... since there has only been one set of fantasy that I could stomach (LoTR).
Although, very few 'modern' works make their way into my reading lists anymore... ugh.

Let's see...in random order here (with sequels and such following the main book.)

Vurt (+Nymphomation, +Pollen); Jeff Noon
Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
CrashCourse (+ClipJoint, +PsyKosis), Wilhelmina Baird
The Stars My Destination, Alfred Bester
The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester
Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
1984, George Orwell
A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
(EDIT: CRIPES! How could I forget HG Wells?! I'm a dumbass.)
The Open Conspiracy, HG Wells
The New World Order, HG Wells
The World Set Free, HG Wells
(Almost everything else by HG Wells!)

(not genre, but belong in this list)
Griffin & Sabine (+Sabine's Notebook, +The Golden Mean, +The Gryphon, +Alexandria, +The Morning Star), Nick Bantock (LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE these...)
The Catcher In the Rye, J.D. Salinger
Catch-22, Joseph Heller
Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk
The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky
War and Peace, Tolstoy (Yes, I actually HAVE read it... it's actually quite a quick read, with a good pace.)
The Inferno, Dante
The Name of the Rose, Uberto Eco

honourable mention:
Dune, Frank Herbert (just the ONE book... none of the rest) -- Paul's just too freakin' angsty/whiny. Plot holes. Logic holes. Good original idea though.
HHGttG, Douglas Adams (the WHOLE thing... I just happen to HATE the last book/ending.)

ones I should have liked but, um, hated:
Neuromancer, William Gibson (actually, anything by Gibson I've just been unable to stand...)
Schismatrix Plus, Bruce Sterling (I've not been able to stand anything by Sterling, either.)
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K Dick (LOVED Blade Runner... hated the book! ODD!)

Modern science fiction is pretty much forgettable to me, so while I have read a lot, almost none have been good enough for me to remember, let alone like enough to put in my top anything list. Nah, totally forgettable 'stories' with absurd premises do not make my reading lists. Dyson sphere anyone? Jesus.

EDIT: I'll add links tomorrow. meh.
Or maybe never... that's just not in my to do list.

Never fear college students!

In response to the, "OMG All I have is a microwave and a skillet and I'm starving!!" email I received recently, here is a good "Can you offer a fusion vegan recipe for under $10?" recipe.

Flash Salsa Pizza:
Ingredients:
1 pre-baked pizza crust
1 jar salsa
1 package of veggie mozzarella, shredded or cut into thin little strips

Prepare pizza:
Dump half the jar (or the whole jar, depending on your crust size) of salsa onto the crust, try and spread it around with a spoon, fork, or knife if you have one handy -- if not, use your fingers (if they're moderately clean.) Top with as much cheese as you want. Microwave on a non-metal surface (no foil) for about 1 minute + 30 seconds (1:30) -- or until cheese is nice and gooey. For a crispy crust, you can then pop it into a HOT DRY skillet for about a minute or two -- or until you smell the crust burning (lift up the crust and peek at it BEFORE the smoke alarm goes off, damnit!)

If you can't cut it -- rip it in half. You can also fold it over and just eat it.

Tex-Mex, eh?

This is from my "North and South American Fusion" recipes. It's a great Tex-Mex twist on a Canadian classic. Good for a heavy lunch or dinner. Serves 4, can be halved.

Chili Bangers & Smoked Mash:
Ingredients:
2 round (medium) Pre-Baked Pizza Crusts, cut into many wedges (at least 16)
1 tsp Olive Oil
1 package Veggie Sausages (any style, not just breakfast. One can of veggie wieners will work as well,) sliced
2 Cans Chili-style Beans, un-drained
8 Pepperoncini peppers, sliced
1 Package Taco Seasoning
4 Servings (Serves) of Instant Mashed Potatoes (do not add butter.)
Soy Milk or Almond Milk (for the Mashed Potatoes)
1/2 - 1 Cup Shredded Soy Mozzarella (Regular will work for non-vegans)
3 tsp Ground Paprika, Smoked (plain will also work), separated
1 small can Sliced Olives
Salt, Pepper

Prepare Dippers:
In a hot flat or wok-style non-stick skillet, dry fry the pizza crust wedges until one side is crispy (you can dry fry both for extra crispy dippers.) Set aside.

Prepare Mashed Potatoes:
Using the water and soy milk quantities on the instant potato package, prepare mashed potatoes without butter. Add 1 tsp paprika and the mozzarella cheese. Stir until cheese is melted and distributed throughout potatoes. Salt to taste. Set aside.

Prepare Topping:
Add olive oil to skillet and heat until a water drop sizzles and pops in the oil. Add the sliced sausages and cook until brown on one side. Add pepperoncini peppers and cook until brown on the other side. Add taco seasoning and un-drained chili beans cans. Stir until sauce boils. remove from heat.

Assemble:
In bowls, first pour each serving (serve) of the mashed potatoes. Add a scoop or two of the topping mixture over the mashed potatoes. Serve with the crispy dippers. Enjoy!

EDIT:
For dessert, I find that it's best to dish up some almond-milk-ice-cream (MMMM CHOCOLATE!) (or soy/rice cream) and pour a shot of Frangelico over it. Ohhhhh yesssss..... (Y'know, I should probably post the 'how to make almond-milk ice-cream' recipe...)

Hell, I add the Frangelico to my soy latte for a little kick...